Okay, I am not here to tell you that YOU are the fault of your rude kids, BUT I am here to SHARE what I learned today. (All comments are welcome, just remember that we are here to share not to judge and fight over the right ways to raise kids. Be respectful :) )
Scenario: We had a dear friend of ours visiting us today. She did some baking with the kids. The kitchen was a chaos to begin with. The table was over crowded and was still in use. This creates angst in me. Especially when clumsy little hands are involved. Something was about to "tip over" and I quickly, sternly said, intented for one of my kids, "Move it away!" and realized that it was our dear friend who was already in the midst of moving it. I then followed by saying : "oh, I didn't mean to use such a rude tone with you (slightly embarrassed), I... meant.... to... say it to....- J!?! Yes, realizing at the same time, what that sentence sounded like and that it was TRUE! I used a rude tone with my kids and would never use it with my friends. Do note: there is a difference with being clear and stern with a loving tone and bossing. Our kids learn from us!
I expect to be spoken to with respect and expect my kids to speak to others with respect. I sometimes get frustrated when I hear them speak with a rude tone. And sigh, wonder why on earth, how come etc?! They mimic.
This hit home, hard. I couldn't believe it. I was okay to rudely order my son around, when I could've instructed and taken the opportunity to train. I fail. But I have hope.
One thing we do in this family is apologise to our kids daily. There is always something we have done that wasn't the best and we should be at ease to be able to apologize to them. I don't want to be the mother-who says it and it's the law, my house, my rules, my table, under my roof, you're outta here- kind of mum. I want to lead by example. I am broken. I am learning. I love. I fail. I am sorry. I try again. I love. I love. I love.
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