Soul Food

Soul Food tonight, hurt. Hurt deep, felt good... 

It felt like I was being peeled open slowly, unraveling layers of busyness and finding a way to the inner part, my beating heart, my soul. 

My daughter laid in her bed and as I walked by she asked me to read "this book" to her, as she lifted up a thin blue book. In my busyness and frustration (after trying to put a baby to sleep for an hour) I said I'll read half, and began to read the story to her quickly...

First page, a mother is holding her baby, rocking back and forth singing him this song,

.."I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be"...

Second last page, the baby all grown up, holds her at a nursing home.. rocking her back and forth and singing this song.

..."I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my MOTHER you'll be"...

The last page, the son, now a father, holds his baby daughter, rocking back and forth singing,

..."I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be"...

As I'm reading this, I cry.  I look at my daughter, hug her and sing to her,

 ..."I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my GIRL you'll be"...

She asked me to sing it again. I tried singing it to her as I tried to swallow my tears...

I said goodnight, walked out the room, and cried. My heart aches.  I cry for the lost time. I cry for what is to come.

Thank you. Thank you for giving me the most precious gems. Amen.