My Future Trim Healthy Mama Pregnancy And More (For a HG Mom)

This morning I woke up with my first menses since about 28-29 months ago. That's being pregnant and nursing our last child. A month ago or so I stopped night time nursing. I needed my sleep back desperately, and I knew once I stopped it would be only a matter of weeks until I started ovulating again. So here I am!

Fertile. Fertile.

What does this mean to an "HG mom"? (Hyperemesis Gravidarum to those who do not know is Extreme pregnancy sickness) It means that it's time to stop slacking in numerous ways and start putting my armor and arsenal on. It all comes down to health, basically. Nutritious foods, good habits, sleep in the bank, etc.

What are some changes that I need to start like, YESTERDAY? Let me map it out for you, but also I'm mapping this our for myself as a reminder.

Diet

Don't do's

• No sugar. I have to be aware of and avoid hidden sugars. 
• No unsprouted wheat, and very little sprouted ones.
• No white rice or white potatoes.
• No caffeine, coffee, and consume very little home made Skinny Chocolate. I just packed away my "Keurig"... sigh*
• No heated oils. Using the good oils as salad dressings etc.
• No processed foods. No junk!

Do do's (ha ha!)

• Increase fermented foods, sauerkraut, pickles, ACV, probiotics, kefir, kombucha tea, etc
• Increase vegetables, especially leafy greens. Last pregnancy I was able to juice vegetables more than I could eat them, and it helped me a lot. 
• Keep hydrated. I know I love me GGMS', but I need to start loving plain old water as well. I've heard that natural spring water makes a bigger difference than filtered water. I gotta check this claim out.
• Eat according to the Trim Healthy Mama plan. You can find more about it HERE
• Supplementation. I am seeing a Naturapathic Dr, getting tested for everything to see where my body is at, and we will be supplementing on what needs addressing. Exciting times, indeed! I've never been so thoroughly checked!
• We will be investing in organic and ethical foods, when possible. $$$!! I know.

Surroundings

• We need to empty our home from like...everything, basically! This is the time to either give away or box-up most of it. Let's put on our "stage the house" mode, and pretend we need to depersonalize the home for selling. There will be no time to do this while (Lord willing I am not!) under the nausea of HG. 
• Simplify homeschool to nearly a complete self-led study. We will be signing the kids up for mathseeds.com and ixl.com, raz-kids.com, brainpop and brainpopjr.com. Hubby will be prepared to take over some of the schooling, especially in the beginning.
• Now or never is the time to focus on "attitude" with the children. They do their chores, but when I am out of action- they need to do these without being asked. Rewards system, ready-set-go! A wall chart will help them keep their progress and goals visual.
• Getting a pair of "walkie-talkies", check! The best purchase EVER. No more struggled whimper yells. "Purple leader calling for red-leader. Over."
• Cooking 20-30 freezer meals for my family. Stocking up the freezer and pantry with portioned healthy snacks and ready P&J, and cheese&deli sandwiches. I need to get my thinking cap on...menu planning, here I come!
• Letting go of commitments. All the "extras" that my family and I can live without.
• For me, a mini fridge next to my bed is a must. 
• Create  "A Family Binder". Gather all the information of everything you or your family -or babysitter, aunt, friend, should have and put it in a binder. Make it accessible, pretty and simple. Telephone numbers, links, chores and menu list, manuals, recipes, instructions etc. Whatever you feel is important for the possible times that you are out of action.
• Stocking up on good quality protein powder and collagen. 

Habits etc

• Start taking daily epsom salt baths.
• Praying as a couple for my womb and for my pregnancy.
• Meditate on scripture and prayer.
• Going to bed on time. If I get into bed by 9 p.m, it gives my thoughts and body time to settle into sleep mode. I can spend my time in bed reading or making love to my husband. Both which affect sleep in a positive way. 
• Habits include diet.
• Taking care of my appearance and more. A healthy well-kept body is a "strength" to any level of nausea. It made a big difference in my last pregnancy. So what does this mean exactly? For me, it is about getting groomed (waxed, haircut, eyebrows plucked, pedicure etc), visiting a pelvic floor physio -getting my core and pelvic floor into where it should be, working on my cardio and muscle strength at home or at the gym, and over all complexion.  
• I will be budgeting for a cleaner weekly, if possible. 
• Same goes for a regular babysitter. Some may think of this as a waste of money, but this is paying for services that I need and will make our lives that little bit manageable/easier. We don't need to go out of the house for a "date" when we hire a babysitter. Doing simply nothing, is bliss. 
• Going over remedies that worked for me in my previous pregnancies and accumulating doTERRA essential oils that will be on my "go to" cupboard. More information on doTERRA HERE
• This one is pricey- but if possible, I will be going to regular high dose vitamin and mineral IV treatments given by my Naturapathic Dr. I can only see this being a positive impact on my future (lord willing) pregnancy. More information HERE

My dear "blogger friend" is pretty much going through what I am as we speak, preparing for a possible future HG pregnancy. She has a wealth of knowledge when it comes down to this all, and it was through her blog that I got most of my knowledge and support through my horrifically sick pregnancies. You can find her blog HERE

So what else can I share? I have my last pregnancy's blog still up there and running. I will most likely continue writing in it, when and if we're blessed with another "peanut". I'm quite excited to find out! You can have a look and read all about how I coped with our previous pregnancy HERE. 

You should Quit Your Job!

Have you ever happened to have a rough day at work? Or even a whole week or even a whole season of hard times at work?? If your answer is 'YES'... then,

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY QUIT YOUR JOB! Seriously. Just quit!

Yeah well, if I told you that I get that advice at times, would you believe me? No really, I do.

I am a mother of 4. I homeschool 2 of them, grades K and 3. That means that I have a toddler and baby to take care of too. I also need to cook, clean and take care of my mental and physical health on top of the other million things that need doing. To top it off, my pregnancies can be quite testing to say the least, and I have been in situations at times where I've had to rely on other people's help. Yes, I've humbly asked or accepted a hand, to tackle my busy life.

I get a lot of advice and I hear a lot of opinions on how people think I should do things i.e. live life. When I've had a testing time in my life, as short as a hour or as long as a month (pregnancies for example), people tell me to give it up. They tell me we'd be better off putting our kids into school, stop having kids and to go get my life back (whatever that means???) To that I feel like saying,

-When the next tough time at work or in whatever you love to do happens, just give it up and quit! Life is supposed to be easy peasy all of the time, don't you know?? There are no trials, no testing, no growth, no negativity, no mistakes, and everything should be just great! If you don't have it good all of the time, you're obviously doing something wrong or don't know what you are doing, putting yourself into these situations... hello!

and that is what I feel like saying... but since I think before I speak type...

Okay, what I mean to say is that, life will always be hard at times in someway or another. We all have our trials, our bad days and we grow from them, we mature and we become more wise. We know the good days outnumber the bad by a zillion and we all make different choices in life, even though they may happen to have a hard journey to the destination and we may even have to ask and/or accept help to get there. Sometimes the journeys feel like they last forever! Hard work pays off. In my case, my pregnancies are hard, but they pay off, oh so well...

Children are a blessing, NOT a burden. My body might ache, my mind might be tired at times, well a lot perhaps, but my soul and heart leap for joy! Our children do not hinder our marriage but bring us closer together as a team, as husband and wife. 

This is my job. I am a mom. I homeschool them. I'm beat at the end of the day and cannot wait to put my feet up. There are days when I don't want to go to work, but I have to. There are days, I'm so tired, I moan about it and have a sour attitude about it, but it passes. There are times, I am so overwhelmed that I need to plug into the Word and prayer so that I can survive another hour... and I'd do anything for someone to just give me a hand. There are times I just want to scream... And it passes.

But guess what, I love my job. I love my calling. It's a holy calling. I love my family. Everyday I am taken aback by how blessed I am with all I have. I love teaching and spending time with my kids. I love watching them discover and grow. I love to menu plan and cook for them. I love taking them to activities and field trips. 

I love my job.

With or without kids, life can be testing.

"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise" -Oscar Wilde

Cutting Corners

I'm going to cut corners this pregnancy and beyond. A few days ago, I "discovered" home delivery from a grocery shop we shop at. This is new to this shop chain, and maybe to this part of the country. However, my husband and I've used grocery home delivery service in the UK quite a bit. This is exciting!

During the final weeks of each pregnancy, I stress about prepping enough meals into the freezer for when the baby arrives. I don't usually get many made, and we end up cooking like we normally would be. This time around, I'm not interested in standing on my swollen feet and piling meals into the freezer. My feet swell in the heat and I find the idea overwhelming at the moment.  Maybe when the weather cools down a bit, I'll have more of a desire to do so.

What can we do to make the last few weeks of the pregnancy and the first few weeks with the baby, easier?

This is what we're going to do,

•  find affordable and healthy take out options

•  use home delivery

I asked my husband, what he thought about budgeting our food in a way that would allow us to eat take out more, and instead of doing major food shops (with the kids!) on paydays, we would use the home delivery service? He said, YES!

Home delivery has a cost to it, of course. But I think not only will it save us time, stress, and gas... it will save me from putting stuff into our trolley that we didn't menu plan for.  So to me, the delivery cost is so worth it! I mean someone goes around and shops for you and brings it to you!!!

What do you think of getting your shopping delivered to you?

Managing Your Home Part 2

I am almost there. Figuring out this master schedule has really been a challenge. It's a lot of work, it takes a lot of thinking and planning and praying about whether our decisions are the right way to go for our family. I haven't yet completed the weekly master schedule, and one reason is that I have to make 7 schedules for 5 people. That's a lot of brain work, and usually by the evening my brain is fried already. Well this is what I've done so far.

First, I've listed all the norm activities and homeschooling for each child, for each day. This gives me a clear picture of the 'slots' for the other things that need doing. I'm trying not to over crowd the days, but also, I'm trying not to give them too much time to get bored and misbehave either.

I've also made a list of house work that needs doing daily, weekly and monthly. Finding the right slot for it and the right person to do it, assures it gets done and nothing piles up. When stuff piles up, it can get so overwhelming, and we often find ourselves at each others throats and rushing around, because we were not prepared. Unfortunately, relationships suffer and there is not enough time left for one on one time or family time, when its all rush rush "I can't read you a book now, because mum is doing EVERYTHING!!!!!!!" I don't want that. My desire it to spend a lot of time with my kids and investing in their lives. We're working towards that.

When there are clear slots for i.e dishes, quick tidy ups and everyone is involved and in training, nothing should pile up and there should be enough time to fellowship and do other activities. the laundry piles up and you find yourself doing several loads a day, without having the proper time to fold them away, on top of that you still need to do your basic daily chores and activities. And usually we got more on our plate "to do" than just one thing. I end up trying to do more than I can handle and "mum just turned into the wicked witch" to top it off! Oh, and when will you find the time to fold those several baskets of laundry? When your kids are asleep, cause you didn't want to sit down and relax anyways?

So, I made a chore list for each kid according to their age, and scattered it throughout the week. This allows me to do my chores too in scheduled slots, while supervising the kids. Hopefully, the training will go well and they absorb the new schedule well. 

Like I said, it isn't ready, I'm nearly there... Once I got it together, I will post a pic of one complete day and then follow ups on how the new schedule training is going for all of us.

More on Managing Your Home Part 1 HERE

How to de-itemize your home HERE

 How do you schedule?

Crying Out to God

One Sunday, a few months ago I had been convicted through a seminar that I was going through at the time. I told my husband to take the kids and leave me to meet my Creator in peace. He was kind enough to not question anything and take the kids swimming. Soon after they left, I fell on the bed, on my face and cried out to God. Literally, cried out, yelled out, sobbed and poured out my heart to my heavenly Father. All of my doubts and fears was layed out, infront of Him, as I clenched onto the covers and whimpered everything to Him.

"God you know my fears, my struggles, my pain... I choose to follow You, live out my convictions, have mercy on me!"

One thing in particular was on the top of my list,

pregnancy. 

Such a difficult and nauseous time for me. Nothing sweet about my pregnancies, just torture. 

"Oh God, if we are to leave the number of the children we have, up to you, would you please take the burden of my pregnancies??"

Well here I am TODAY, 7 weeks pregnant. We're expecting again. Our #4 :)

Do I feel nauseous? -YES! But nothing, nothing and once again nothing, compares to what I had to endure 3 pregnancies before. I have been lifted up, my cry has been heard and I am "standing" by His strength only.

I'm going to blog about this pregnancy. How I am coping, what I am learning, eating and doing. Stay tuned! 

 

More on our convictions, why we choose to have a "large" family HERE

More on severe pregnancy sickness- HyperEmesis Gravidadum HERE

 

Full Quiver - Large Family

This post is about marital intimacy. I recommend that you do not read it, if you are not engaged to be married soon or married.

People around us often ask whether we are "done" with having kids. They ask this especially after they find out that we are parents of 3. To some folks, 3 is a lot, to others, it's not. We are living amongst the "a lot" kind of people... I'm generalising here, bare with me.

I could copy and paste great articles from "large family" blogs and explain why we are open for more kids but that would be copy and pasting, and not in my very OWN words. And there is MORE to it.

So here is our story, how we eventually ended up "wanting" more children after thinking 2-3 was a good number.

Before I begin with our brief summarised story about us, finding freedom after years of bondage in this area, here are some good questions and interesting comments we've got from family, friends and strangers. Please keep in mind, I am sharing our perspective, values and beliefs and I am not trying to impose this on other people. I hope you find encouragement and peace by reading our story. Comments are welcome.

1. Having kids is expensive! There is "research" and even books (holy moly) on how having children is expensive. I disagree, entirely. We believe that God has a set "bank account" for each child you have. This doesn't necessarily mean GAP clothes and all the hobbies one child and parent desire, but this for us means (and we have also lived to see) that ALL is provided for and we truly lack nothing. The provision came AFTER having each child. Looking back we can see how our income increased after each child was born. Not before, but after. God has asked us to trust Him in this area and we have not been disappointed! There are certain "luxuries" we don't have, such as owning a car and being able to shop for new clothes each month, but these are minor, very minor to what we have been blessed with. Our children. There are endless ways to cut costs if one is worried about the financial aspect of having kids. From cloth diapers to breastfeeding well, to living on primarily hand me down clothes. It all depends on what you feel is important to have, what are your priorities and values?
2. You won't get your life back if you keep having more kids. I am assuming that we are talking about the "life before kids" part. We never thought that having kids was just a side track or a rest zone for us away from our career. Or should I say, my career. As a stay at home mum and a homeschooler, I can't see myself returning to what I did prior to my kids. I was a stay-at-home mum, had 3 jobs and even studied Nutritional Therapy all at the same time, amongst other events which I led and participated in. However, THIS is my life now, for this SEASON of my life and I am looking forward to the new things, which this phase of my life brings. I am a mother. This is far more important to me than pursuing my career. I don't want to linger in the same season and place my whole life. This is my calling and I know that the things I used to do, I can do again, when the right time comes up. And IF I want to.
3. You won't be able to travel. Our family is scattered around the world, so it's important for us to be able to travel, often enough. Like I sort of mentioned previously, God IS our provider. He has and will provide for another plane fare. God knows our situation, our desires, needs and wants. He is quite generous, His economy is something else and I am not worried. We live on one average income for a family of 5 and are currently saving up for a trip to Cambodia. I want to encourage you to pray, trust and give this area to God. You won't be dissapointed.
4. We won't be able to accommodate you all when you visit, if you keep growing. That's okay, we'll book a hotel;-)! 
5. Your kids will be deprived. 1) emotionally and then 2) materially. 1) Yes the larger the family grows the less of one on one time we'll get. I believe that planning ahead and prioritising everyday will help in this area. We value family time, togetherness. I just have to make sure that each kid gets kisses and cuddles throughout the day and acknowledge them often. I'm not perfect and I have my bad days. However, the good, the miracles, the LIFE that is created and the good days out weigh the bad, hands down. God knows how many kids we can handle, I have to put my trust in Him. The kids do not stay young forever, they grow and we grow. Our life changes a bit to accommodate the next blessing we receive. That's normal. I do certain things differently with 3 kids than I did with 2, and that's okay. I still have to cook every day, so the fact is, whether it's a 1 litre pan I use or a 5 litre pan, it doesn't make a difference to me. 2) This is a matter of what each of us finds important and believes is important for our kids. It's not important for us that our kids get driven to one hobby after the other, and that they get the next trendy toy or snickers on the market. We value quality time and feeding their imagination, which can be playing sports together with friends and making kites out of plastic bags. Our two oldest do have hobbies, but to be honest, I might have to find hobbies in which all of our kids can attend at the same time, when and if we are blessed with more. And if it is suitable for us. I'm not worried and neither are they. What brings more to ones life, is it a soccer practise each week during childhood or is it a brother or sister for life? I believe that they'll be blessed in which ever direction they are called to go and if my eldest wants to be a professional Cricket player, so be it.
6. The world is over populated as it is. This is a myth, yes you read this correctly. A myth. ..."In fact, the entire population of the world could live in the state of Texas, in single-family dwellings with front and back yards"... Here is a great link to Family Planning 10 Great Reasons - some liberating insight! There's truth in it! 
7. You'll have 19 kids before you know it. Not everybody who is open for having as many children, get 19 kids. We know about the Duggars and the Bates with 19 kids each, but realistically how many families who are open to having more kids, have 19? Not many. I know several families who are open to let God decide their family size and they ended up having 6. Some have 5, some 10, some 12, some 16... who knows. Some have 1 and some couples find it very hard to conceive. We are all different. 
8. "I grew up in a large family and it was difficult!" Everybody has a different story, we are not all from the same mould.

Life is precious. Life is a miracle. Amazing...

Our Story

I am happy that both sets of my grandparents didn't stop having kids after 1, because if that would have been the case, I wouldn't have been here, neither my mother, or father and more amazing people, including my precious gifts -my children. Life is a gift, a precious gift. 

My husband and I decided once our first was born that 2 was a good number. I suffered from Hyper Emesis during my first pregnancy, so I was really O.K with that idea. Being pregnant was torture for me. We were on contraception and in "control". We lacked a "connection" in our love making and it wasn't until after our 3rd child was born that we realised what that lack was caused by. We discovered it in tears. More on that in a bit.

We decided that it would be a good time to start trying for our second child when our first was 2 years old. I suffered from Hyper Emesis again, but had a pretty good supportive network and managed through it, like I always do. After our second child was born, we were convicted in this area of marital intimacy, to let go of contraception (link to truth about birth-control), by my husband reading a great book on marital intimacy the way God intended it to be (Theology of the Body here by, Christopher West) and we then began with the Natural Family Planning method (NFP link here). 

Just before our second child turned 2, I went through a long burning desire to conceive. However, we chose not to pursue our 3rd pregnancy until our major move to another continent was complete. For some reason, we pretended to be able to foresee the future and what it would be like if I would've been pregnant during that move, prior and post. We assumed to know. We conceived soon after our move and we were expecting our 3rd. The pregnancy was terrible and hard to cope with. My husband having a new job and without the most compassionate boss, we really went through a rough patch. It must've been the second hardest pregnancy so far, unbelievable. During my final weeks of that pregnancy, my husband got promoted (and a new boss!) and we moved into a rental house, which took off enormous amounts of stress and worry. God provided. The birth once again, was a reminder of why we put ourselves through that "torture". The miracle child, the blessing, the gift in our arms, amazing! So worth it. I would go through that "torture" again and again, because the life that comes from it, is worth bearing. Of course, it's different to say it and to live it. It's hard, it really is. During my worst, I'm thinking I'm stupid to put myself through this again, how bonkers am I!? I am thankful for friends and remedies. 

Visit www.mymorningsickness.com for encouragement and ways to dodge morning sickness or to take the edge off. 

Right after the birth of our 3rd, my heart longed for this not to be "it". This amazing precious gem, in my arms, this sweet child of mine... I began to wonder, how many more of these little miracles could there be? When will my womb close? Will we ever regret  not having more kids...? Why is there a set time for child bearing and Who has the ultimate say? Not only that, but back to the "lack of connection" in our love making had a root, and thankfully a solution. 

Before, there was no freedom in our love making. There was some sort of barrier, there was pursuing self gratification and no openness to possibility of conception. I personally, as well as my husband, suffered from baggage from our past that we had brought into our marriage. I felt then, that marital love making was not much different from outside of marriage, but had to trust that it was "blessed", nevertheless because we were married. 

It was a really depressing time in my life and I felt very alone in my struggles, especially within the church. It seemed that since it was prayed over, and we were declared free from our past sin, we should've been able to go home and nooky-nooky with joy, as simple as that. I began to doubt my faith. We went through years of prayer, crying out to God, marriage counselling, and personal counselling to figure this thing out and get healing once and for all. How come I was ashamed, still, as a wife, blessed by God to make love to my husband? My husband is eye candy to me, don't get me wrong, I am so in love with him, I find him very attractive. But I couldn't engage with him in the bedroom. For years, I thought the problem was ME or MY history, or MY weight... but it was US. How come I wasn't healed from this, after so long? I even got comments from people close to me, on how I shouldn't dwell in the past sin, because I am new in Christ. Absolutely, but then why is there still a void? Intellectually I knew what was true, but my heart did not follow. Something was missing. 

Eventually, We decided to abstain from coming together for long periods of time, until proper healing took place. It wasn't easy, and a very difficult journey to commit to, but there was healing in that time which needed to take place before we could come together again. I longed for intimacy that was truly blessed by God. We knew that something wasn't right, if this is truly good, then how come it feels bad, and wrong? Where are we going wrong? 

Before coming to Christ, I lived a very promiscuous life. I met my husband during the final stages of my old self. But throughout our marriage, I really wanted to know what intimacy looked like, the way God designed it to be. We brought sex as we knew it from living in the world, before Christ, into our marriage, and then as new believers we realised it wasn't working. The way we unfortunately learned about sex, in the world, is NOT the way God intended it to be. Do you see the pieces coming together?

In the world, the focus is on one self. On self gratification, it's very lustful and just pursuing self pleasure. My prayer for the first 6 years of our marriage, was "God show me what love is meant to be, between him and I" It wasn't until the birth of our 3rd, when we realised that for me to be at ease and feel loved was by letting go of the "control". For us to have pure love making, meant that we needed to stop making it all about "me" or "us". Essentially, sex is very selfish. I get what I want, you get what you want and when we want it. The when I want it idea, especially comes in to play when thinking about conception. We had given up the idea of contraception which meant the chances of getting pregnant were high so therefor I felt pressured almost to be intimate when non fertile and just forget it when fertile. This made me feel even more used. There was no freedom to love each other freely. How can you, when all you are thinking about is yourself? What this often leads to is one or the other feeling like an object rather than desired or special. Where is the sacrifice, the submission, the love?

What we had realised therefor, is that to enjoy a blessed, pure and enjoyable intimacy, we needed to give up our control and really give ourselves to the other person. In the giving of ourselves to one another, we can experience the real meaning of the word 'love' in lovemaking. The other part to this is in giving up control, we are fully open to new life. Imagine making love that is free from everything.

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Reasons Why We Homeschool