The Struggle Is Real (Part 2)

In my previous post HERE, I went over some issues that are bothering me in my home, that I believe are hindering us as a family to live a "happy" home life. On this post, I am going to point out a few factors that I think may be the "culprits", the hindering factors.

• We get upset with our kids when they create a tornado in every room they pass through. "Pick that up, see you left this, that...do you have to touch everything?!" In some ways, I believe that we as parents are to blame. First of all, if we didn't have "all of that stuff" in the home in the first place, then our curious little children would not be leaving a trail of stuff while they lived in our home. If we had less stuff, working on chores and keeping up with bits wouldn't be so overwhelming to them, and we would yell less. Did that make any sense at all?? We are the ones who bring endless stuff -games, toys and books, crafts, clothes, and bits and bobs into our homes, the kids don't. We do. We allow the kids to. Who's in charge? It's only the natural curious nature of our kids who explore everything and anything around them. What is our home supposed to be like for us, and for them? Secondly, accumulation of things and stuff isn't coded in us, it's learnt. Tell me if I'm wrong (I know, genetics...)? Does accumulation happen through social pressure, in the society we live in? "Everything must be tried, and experienced!", "Taste THIS, craft THAT, sleep on THIS!" We must do EVERYTHING. We become secret hoarders. Always wanting more, because it is an endless sea of possibilities and upgrades. One thing I read somewhere that hit home was this, "You can do ANYTHING, but not EVERYTHING" If only, we could apply it to everything in our lives. We cannot keep up. 
• (This may be a small factor of stuff in your home, but it's still a factor) I have a cupboard full of supplements. What could be wrong with that? It's healthy! Oh yes, yes they are, BUT! Firstly, what if we spent that $$$ on organic nutrient dense foods instead, -or at least half of it? It's starting to make sense to me. I have bottles upon bottles of pills, that are very much good for me, yet I would sometimes second guess on purchasing organic eggs, vegetables, and beef! Yet I would still spend $$ on vitamins. We wouldn't need supplementation if I was focusing on nutrient dense foods.  Secondly, I carry stress over remembering to eat my pills, so I can be healthy, I'll be doomed if I don't. Right? "So many pills to swallow, at these times of the day, with these meals. After my workout" "Oh shoot! I shouldn't take these now, they'll keep me up all night!" 

It's not meant to be a prison of anxiety of healthy living. Healthy living should be liberating, not the opposite wherein we become so fixated on what goes into our body. I tend to lean towards stressing more about my physical health than I do about my spiritual well being, unfortunately. You see? This is only one example of the things around us, in our homes that we imprison ourselves with. Let me list a few things that imprison me. 

• Family "heirlooms".
• Unfinished craft projects, albums.
• Potential craft projects. (Good ones!)
• Books.
• Potential school books. (Where do I find the time, to teach it all?!)
• Games, puzzles etc. (The fun family fun nights, coming up?!)
• China. (Other kitchen stuff that I can't seem to choose what to part with)
• Baby related blankets, linen. 
• Stuffies. (Every stuffy has a story, to each child, how can I get rid of?)
• Furniture. (What if we need these pieces later?)

My list goes on and on and on.

The truth is, I will never have enough time to enjoy them all as frequently as they should be, in my mind. Are they worth the space? Are they worth the visual noise, the guilt ("I still haven't played that game with my kids", "One day, bla bla bla with these"), the reminder that you are incapable of delivering? Incapable of making things happen, incapable of following through with regimes, unwritten rules, potential hobbies and then the images you've created in your mind with all of the stuff that's in your home. No, this has to stop. We can do ANYTHING, but not EVERYTHING. Now is the time to figure out what that "anything" is, and what the rest are that can be let go of. Are you following what I'm trying to put into words?

You should Quit Your Job!

Have you ever happened to have a rough day at work? Or even a whole week or even a whole season of hard times at work?? If your answer is 'YES'... then,

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY QUIT YOUR JOB! Seriously. Just quit!

Yeah well, if I told you that I get that advice at times, would you believe me? No really, I do.

I am a mother of 4. I homeschool 2 of them, grades K and 3. That means that I have a toddler and baby to take care of too. I also need to cook, clean and take care of my mental and physical health on top of the other million things that need doing. To top it off, my pregnancies can be quite testing to say the least, and I have been in situations at times where I've had to rely on other people's help. Yes, I've humbly asked or accepted a hand, to tackle my busy life.

I get a lot of advice and I hear a lot of opinions on how people think I should do things i.e. live life. When I've had a testing time in my life, as short as a hour or as long as a month (pregnancies for example), people tell me to give it up. They tell me we'd be better off putting our kids into school, stop having kids and to go get my life back (whatever that means???) To that I feel like saying,

-When the next tough time at work or in whatever you love to do happens, just give it up and quit! Life is supposed to be easy peasy all of the time, don't you know?? There are no trials, no testing, no growth, no negativity, no mistakes, and everything should be just great! If you don't have it good all of the time, you're obviously doing something wrong or don't know what you are doing, putting yourself into these situations... hello!

and that is what I feel like saying... but since I think before I speak type...

Okay, what I mean to say is that, life will always be hard at times in someway or another. We all have our trials, our bad days and we grow from them, we mature and we become more wise. We know the good days outnumber the bad by a zillion and we all make different choices in life, even though they may happen to have a hard journey to the destination and we may even have to ask and/or accept help to get there. Sometimes the journeys feel like they last forever! Hard work pays off. In my case, my pregnancies are hard, but they pay off, oh so well...

Children are a blessing, NOT a burden. My body might ache, my mind might be tired at times, well a lot perhaps, but my soul and heart leap for joy! Our children do not hinder our marriage but bring us closer together as a team, as husband and wife. 

This is my job. I am a mom. I homeschool them. I'm beat at the end of the day and cannot wait to put my feet up. There are days when I don't want to go to work, but I have to. There are days, I'm so tired, I moan about it and have a sour attitude about it, but it passes. There are times, I am so overwhelmed that I need to plug into the Word and prayer so that I can survive another hour... and I'd do anything for someone to just give me a hand. There are times I just want to scream... And it passes.

But guess what, I love my job. I love my calling. It's a holy calling. I love my family. Everyday I am taken aback by how blessed I am with all I have. I love teaching and spending time with my kids. I love watching them discover and grow. I love to menu plan and cook for them. I love taking them to activities and field trips. 

I love my job.

With or without kids, life can be testing.

"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise" -Oscar Wilde

Cutting Corners

I'm going to cut corners this pregnancy and beyond. A few days ago, I "discovered" home delivery from a grocery shop we shop at. This is new to this shop chain, and maybe to this part of the country. However, my husband and I've used grocery home delivery service in the UK quite a bit. This is exciting!

During the final weeks of each pregnancy, I stress about prepping enough meals into the freezer for when the baby arrives. I don't usually get many made, and we end up cooking like we normally would be. This time around, I'm not interested in standing on my swollen feet and piling meals into the freezer. My feet swell in the heat and I find the idea overwhelming at the moment.  Maybe when the weather cools down a bit, I'll have more of a desire to do so.

What can we do to make the last few weeks of the pregnancy and the first few weeks with the baby, easier?

This is what we're going to do,

•  find affordable and healthy take out options

•  use home delivery

I asked my husband, what he thought about budgeting our food in a way that would allow us to eat take out more, and instead of doing major food shops (with the kids!) on paydays, we would use the home delivery service? He said, YES!

Home delivery has a cost to it, of course. But I think not only will it save us time, stress, and gas... it will save me from putting stuff into our trolley that we didn't menu plan for.  So to me, the delivery cost is so worth it! I mean someone goes around and shops for you and brings it to you!!!

What do you think of getting your shopping delivered to you?

I Cannot Compete - This is Me

I think I've taken an unnecessary detour in my blog writing. I think I've let the blogging "peer pressure" affect what I write about. Mostly, I think, I've stuck to my true nature -being open and honest about real life, real feelings, real revelations, and real marriage, but I can see that I've also blogged about my "Martha life". Which I really don't do that great in!

I am no Martha Stewart. I am no DIY champ, I'm no super baker and no photographer. I don't sew well, I organize like a "comet", and I have so much more to talk about than chevron fabric and Thanksgiving crafts. I cannot compete with the best homemakers, organizers, bakers, photographers, housewives, and so on, so I quit. I quit writing this blog the way it is, and continue on like I know best.

I am a wife, who just like you, has to work hard in marriage. I am a mother, who just like you, loves my kids to death when they sleep so peacefully and, I swear to keep my temper "tomorrow' -and I fail...again. I am a woman, just like you, who day dreams about a better way, adventures, the future and hope to develop into a better person in all areas. I am a child of God, that has no good in me, yet I'm covered by grace. 

I think I'll just spend my time with my favorite people -my family, and blog about the daily life, motherhood, wifehood, homeschooling, pregnancy, things that make our life just that little more easy, the ups, the downs, and well, the journey we're on.

Hope you enjoy the difference!

Mid Update - Weight Loss etc.

First of all, take your time right now to wipe down your keyboard and screen. This makes a big difference on your "screen time". Trust me, just do it! 

My Weight Loss:

Secondly, I want to share with you about what impact evening snacking has on your body. In just 3 days, as I left the evening snacking out, (read here) I dropped 3 lbs. This is no diet. This is common sense. Our bodies do not need the energy we so forcefully (I mean gladly) give it late at night. Unless, we're hitting the gym or we've just come back from a 2h hike. I say supress the habit! Which is why,

TODAY, I told my husband that we need to limit our movie nights (at home) to once a week, or even twice a month! Why? Unless I'm on a strict short term "jump start diet", my brain is just coded in a way where watching a movie and putting popcorn in my mouth go hand in hand. Unfortunately. So, to kill that unhealthy -repetitive habit, I must limit the temptations until, my brain is recoded. Makes sense? I'll keep your posted on that!

What I'm learning about:

I am in love (don't take it too literally) with weights! I am so happy to see how my body is changing in such a short time. I'm seeing strength, muscle definition, less back pain, more energy and better nights sleep. I am amazed at the body that God has designed, and how our bodies were made to move, how they can adjust/change-given the opportunity, and how physical activity also affects us emotionally, chemically and last but NOT least, spiritually. 

The only way I know how to describe what I am going through is this image. Fully, as a family, giving to God what is God's. Ourselves.  I see myself, in some ways taken out of what I know to be "normal" or the way we should live, to another path that may be somewhat foreign but serene. I see my family fixed on His will, living to glorify Him, taking the time to hike, bike, run, roll around, jump, laugh... to eat the fruits and the vegg, and the sweets that He has given us. Share about the true love by being what He has called us to be, no more, no less. Thriving to grow in him, thriving to do our best and knowing GRACE in the midst of the good and the bad. 

What I am struggling with: 

Seeing unhealthiness in everything. I carry guilt, a lot. I know this is not from the Lord. I'm on a path. I know that wisdom and knowledge can sometimes feel like a burden. I see that in some ways "ignorance is a bliss". I'm just learning to balance it all, by His strength, according to His word. This is where Grace comes in!

When I open up a yoghurt pot for my little ones, I cannot help but read the labels and wonder what damage some of the ingredients may do to us. I don't believe I should ignore it, since once knowledge has been given to you, you should use it wisely. I'm in a little bit of limbo here. I allow my children to have sweets at times, I prepare their favorite meals at times (which aren't very "healthy"),... then I put hemp hearts and oats into their yoghurt pots to add a little more healthiness to them. I dread giving them cooked vegg, because I know that the vitamins have halved and the enzymes are no longer there. But I still do at times.... So, just if you keep me in your prayers, I know that being a mother isn't easy, and the added guilt, can be very destroying.

Letting go:

I'm still half way of de-itemizing (read all about it HERE), and I'm still motivated, determined and anxious -in a good way, what the outcome might look like. I have day dreams about the finale, the finished project. I want it to be finished already but, I know that there is a lot of personal growth that needs to ntake place before I can take the next major step. In His time.