- start my day reading the Word and pray
- check my email and facebook after the kids go to sleep
- use the crock pot and make sandwiches for dinner often
- purposefully read more books out loud to my kids
- say "no" more to other things, so I can say "yes" to spending more time with the kids
One of my biggest sought after desires in life is to slow down. As a human being, in this time and age, never mind being a homeschooling mother of four, I find it very very very hard to do. All I want is to live "here and now" with my family, to truly see and to truly hear my children. To be child mind like again, to learn how to make a day last forever. Time flies, my mind keeps on racing like a speed train and my desire to slow down is like me lassoing this speeding train, trying to stop it with mere human strength. Impossible.
My heart aches. I think about it, I dream about it while life happens around me, while I homeschool, while I cook, clean and try to keep on top of things, while I read about the topic on other blogs and articles, while I drive to and from, from appointments. And then, the day ends and I'm rushing my kids off to bed, because I've had a long long day (which flew by so quick) and I'm running on empty. I end my day with massive guilt. I yelled at my kids today. I wasn't fully giving my children undivided attention -I didn't have the patience to listen to their story, because they or I weren't done with a chore that needed checking off our daily cleaning list. I didn't hear my daughters imaginative dream, because it wasn't good timing, as I herd my kids into the car. I pretend to listen, and I even smile at them saying "how cool!"... But truly, I'm stuck in this speeding train and I can't exit.
I know I need to reprogram my brain, but I don't even know where to begin. I know I can begin now, I just don't know how to. I know what I need to do, but I just don't. I'm desperate.
I don't know what I am doing, but I'm going to start with these 5.