Slowing Down

One of my biggest sought after desires in life is to slow down. As a human being, in this time and age, never mind being a homeschooling mother of four, I find it very very very hard to do. All I want is to live "here and now" with my family, to truly see and to truly hear my children. To be child mind like again, to learn how to make a day last forever. Time flies, my mind keeps on racing like a speed train and my desire to slow down is like me lassoing this speeding train, trying to stop it with mere human strength. Impossible.

My heart aches. I think about it, I dream about it while life happens around me, while I homeschool, while I cook, clean and try to keep on top of things, while I read about the topic on other blogs and articles, while I drive to and from, from appointments. And then, the day ends and I'm rushing my kids off to bed, because I've had a long long day (which flew by so quick) and I'm running on empty. I end my day with massive guilt. I yelled at my kids today. I wasn't fully giving my children undivided attention -I didn't have the patience to listen to their story, because they or I weren't done with a chore that needed checking off our daily cleaning list. I didn't hear my daughters imaginative dream, because it wasn't good timing, as I herd my kids into the car. I pretend to listen, and I even smile at them saying "how cool!"... But truly, I'm stuck in this speeding train and I can't exit.

I know I need to reprogram my brain, but I don't even know where to begin. I know I can begin now, I just don't know how to. I know what I need to do, but I just don't. I'm desperate. 

I don't know what I am doing, but I'm going to start with these 5.

  1. start my day reading the Word and pray
  2. check my email and facebook after the kids go to sleep
  3. use the crock pot and make sandwiches for dinner often
  4. purposefully read more books out loud to my kids
  5. say "no" more to other things, so I can say "yes" to spending more time with the kids
Let's see where these take me.

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