Eucharisteo -Thanksgiving

A few weeks ago, I came across this study on "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. 'Eucharisteo'. Eucharisteo, meaning grace, joy and thanksgiving. Living where we are at. Counting our gifts and blessings. Stopping to see, to live fully, seeing God's grace regardless of our circumstances. 

I took the challenge. I am counting one thousand gifts. This has been life changing for me. The things that drive me most crazy, are the things I am most thankful about.

12. small hands, small nails, painted pink. Covered in dirt... <3 br="">

13. smiles, cheeky faces...

14."I love yous" daily...

a week goes by...

131. Joshua's serving heart

132. Avocado

133. Cucumber on rye bread

another week goes by...

212. When holidays lasted "forever" as a kid, when I knew how to live here and now, fully.

213. Unconditional love

214. Jesus

and another

382. Lucy busy ripping through a "Leisure Guide" paper, focused...

383. Waiting for a letter, the excitement!

384. Shades of lipstick, pink, red...

and more

452. That bad habits CAN be broken...

453. and that good habits created...

454. As we walk home and Kayleigh is holding the hem of my dress...

Still going...

Will you take the challenge? Please visit http://www.aholyexperience.com/ and be prepared to be changed forever, for the good.

Eucharisteo

Living a Life of Thanks

Black Void

I have this black hole in my life. It started out small, maybe the size of a pin head. It gradually grew and as it did, I became more idle, immobile, guiltful, sad, and the more it grew the more I fed it. How do I feed the black hole? By being here. Yes, here, on the internet. To be more clear, on FB, on DailyMail, on other trashy "News Paper" sites and by accidentally coming across trash online.

I "quit" FB a few months ago. I still log in to check out the latest news and photos. FB has turned into a propaganda and Pinterest site. I scroll down the news feed and my eyes are exposed to everything. A picture of a starving child comes up with this: "like and share if you care, keep scrolling if you're don't!" Ugh,  I never feel good after my visit, yet I still visit. The DailyMail focuses on the negative and the evil of the world. It brings out the saddest and soul stirring news. I never feel good after I visit, yet I still visit. It's the curiosity that pulls me back in.

Our eyes are the windows to our souls. What we read and watch will feed our soul in one way or the other. EVERYTHING we read or watch WILL affect our soul and well being in one way or the other.

I have lived it. I am still living it. I chose to open up a tab and read the latest kak online. Sometimes, usually, more often than not, I come across the latest sad news on innocent children being hurt or killed by sick people. My heart and soul aches. The "well" written imagery on the ordeal creates images in my mind that are disturbing. Imagery, forever in my mind. I carry that.

In the same way, most of what is on TV, and its imagery is forever imprinted on my mind. Scary movies, (which I have not watched in years because my psyche can't handle it) vain and promiscuous shows. I carry that baggage. Baggage that is cancerous.

This builds up, or should I say It grows. My worry and disappointment grows. But the next day, I am at it again.

We don't have TV but I am still feeding my energy sucking void, by replacing it with the ones listed above.

Youtube is dangerous. I honestly believe that it has to be one of the most dangerous sites for anybody to be on, especially for kids. This is what I meant about "accidentally coming across trash online".

So I'm wide eyed following the latest gossip, show (youtube), tabloid and then after I've discharged(sucked out) my positivity and energy, I attend my precious gems. I am not present though. My mind lingers on what I've read, what I've seen and the after shocks. After shocks as in deep in thought, deep in worry, deep in compassion, and sadness I am not strong enough to carry. My children ask me questions, buzz around me, they talk... I nod, smile but I am not here. I've waisted my first hour of the day, surfing in trashy waves. How clean and fresh am I? How motivated and energized am I? Where is my focus?

Can you count the number of times you have logged back online to "check"? It's like going to the fridge again after 10 minutes from the previous time, again, to "check" if magically any food has appeared, only it is to check for news, latest news to only eventually see that it's all the same and time still passes by. Time you can never have back.

Not only that, but I have missed out on here and now, by being around but not being here. This poem called "Dear mom on the iPhone" is what I am talking about. Have I swapped being with my precious to being with the app? I don't want to, not anymore. Whether you are a parent or not, student or retired... where is your focus?

I know what the news tomorrow is, without even reading tomorrow's news, and I can tell you what it will be.

- NOT good.

Tomorrow's news is not good. Until the second coming of our Christ, Jesus, the news will always be filled with bad.

There IS good news though. Good News which will never change. regardless of what is happening around you, in your heart or in the world. Nothing we read on the news or see on TV can change the love story, the Truth that has been bestowed upon us. That good news is your life manual, the love story between God and YOU. The Bible.

Where is your focus? Can you put down your pinning on Pinterest, your daily sharing on FB and your logging in to your favourite gossip news site and focus on what really matters. Focus on the eternal? Focus on today, a gift?

Does God Bless Your Wardrobe?

God sees the heart, knows our secret wants, our "vanity". I don't speak about it, I am content. Since, that is what the scriptures say,

1 Timothy 6:8  ..."But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that"... 

and that is what a "true Christian" ought to be. All good, I give up my style for the good of my family. Priorities, priorities... Second hand clothes, still used 18 months after I got pregnant. I am not pregnant, but I am wearing the same pregnancy clothes. After all, some people lack clothing, I am blessed with the clothes I have. I can count them with both hands. That's all, yet so much when compared to the ones who lack... yet so little... shouldn't complain. I am content, I am content. 

I feel awful. My pregnancy weight lingers. I am different from most women, I shed the weight AFTER I quit nursing. Would I ever be so vain to quit for the sake of my figure, God no! Would I want to? I am tempted.... guilt builds up for letting it cross my mind. 

I call myself names I would never say to anyone or even think of anybody that way. I am a "läski-paska"...which directly translated means "fat-s**t".. not very flattering at all. I say that to ME. Just writing about it, typing it out is shocking. Lip trembling shocking, how could I be so brutal? What have I done to deserve that title? 

I re-dedicated this ground to the Lord, he sees my heart. I want to live out the scripture, to feel it, to believe it. I am Your property, I was bought with a price, I am Yours... I have more than enough, I am blessed.

Last night I got a call from M, from church. She said that she would really like me and my 3 kids to attend tomorrow's Mom's group clothes swap meeting. She told me that they want to pay for my child care and perhaps H and S would let me have a few items without charge. "Oh sweet! What a wonderful blessing! Thank you!"...

Today I attended the swap meeting. I don't know why I attended. I didn't have the money or the body to even want to go. I am happy that I did though.  Once we got there, I dropped the kids off to the nursery and waited in line for coffee. I was approached by L (who gave us a ride to the swap meeting)- "Are you going to do some shopping?" she asked with a smile. "No, I don't have the money..." I replied, hiding the other side of my reason. As she offered to pay for me, I refused kindly and suddenly broke down in tears, in shock trying to hide my face in my blouse. What on earth? Am I crying?, apologizing for my "weakness" and feeling stupid and guilty for it.  "I'm sorry, I don't know why I am crying.."... We retreat to the ladies bathroom to share. I got a hug. I have not been hugged in my sorrows for so long. The hug felt so sweet. Right afterwards, one of the leaders of the group, asked me if I was ready to shop!?

Oh what sweet blessings. It was more than I ever anticipated. My nursery fee was covered, the clothes I ended up getting were a GIFT and I was styled by someone who really has an eye for it.  I can't match clothes one bit, but she could. And well. I think I tried clothes on for a good hour, and even got into some pretty funky heels!

 I got my eyebrows threaded. This was an accident, I just followed the "line" and didn't even realize it wasn't part of the free fun (like the hairstyling).

 This picture was taken in the midst of my trying on clothes. Although the picture doesn't look like it, I had no idea this shot was taken. 

I am so overwhelmed and grateful. I got home, I looked at my haul, I sobbed. Thank You, God!! Wow, I even got heels... (not anywhere top in my priority list) I went from owning 3 pairs of shoes to 9! 

He sees my heart, he sees where I am at. He blessed my wardrobe.

Have you asked God to bless your wardrobe?

Reward Chart

 If you need to motivate your child to do right, a reward chart is a good start. However, it would be good to teach the child to do right from the heart and not just because she/he will "get something out of it". There is a saying though, "what gets rewarded, gets repeated". I have created a Reward Chart for my kids with the areas that they are currently struggeling in. There are many areas they struggle in that I put on the chart, but I don't want to overwhelm them. So I choose the 'worst' that need dealing with a.s.a.p as in, bad attitude, ungratefulness, selfishness, disrespect, disobidience etc and then turn those into ' happy heart, sharing is caring, no back-chatting, instant obidience'... So far so good!

Housewife University: Forgiveness

Housewife University: Forgiveness