The Struggle Is Real (Part 2)

In my previous post HERE, I went over some issues that are bothering me in my home, that I believe are hindering us as a family to live a "happy" home life. On this post, I am going to point out a few factors that I think may be the "culprits", the hindering factors.

• We get upset with our kids when they create a tornado in every room they pass through. "Pick that up, see you left this, that...do you have to touch everything?!" In some ways, I believe that we as parents are to blame. First of all, if we didn't have "all of that stuff" in the home in the first place, then our curious little children would not be leaving a trail of stuff while they lived in our home. If we had less stuff, working on chores and keeping up with bits wouldn't be so overwhelming to them, and we would yell less. Did that make any sense at all?? We are the ones who bring endless stuff -games, toys and books, crafts, clothes, and bits and bobs into our homes, the kids don't. We do. We allow the kids to. Who's in charge? It's only the natural curious nature of our kids who explore everything and anything around them. What is our home supposed to be like for us, and for them? Secondly, accumulation of things and stuff isn't coded in us, it's learnt. Tell me if I'm wrong (I know, genetics...)? Does accumulation happen through social pressure, in the society we live in? "Everything must be tried, and experienced!", "Taste THIS, craft THAT, sleep on THIS!" We must do EVERYTHING. We become secret hoarders. Always wanting more, because it is an endless sea of possibilities and upgrades. One thing I read somewhere that hit home was this, "You can do ANYTHING, but not EVERYTHING" If only, we could apply it to everything in our lives. We cannot keep up. 
• (This may be a small factor of stuff in your home, but it's still a factor) I have a cupboard full of supplements. What could be wrong with that? It's healthy! Oh yes, yes they are, BUT! Firstly, what if we spent that $$$ on organic nutrient dense foods instead, -or at least half of it? It's starting to make sense to me. I have bottles upon bottles of pills, that are very much good for me, yet I would sometimes second guess on purchasing organic eggs, vegetables, and beef! Yet I would still spend $$ on vitamins. We wouldn't need supplementation if I was focusing on nutrient dense foods.  Secondly, I carry stress over remembering to eat my pills, so I can be healthy, I'll be doomed if I don't. Right? "So many pills to swallow, at these times of the day, with these meals. After my workout" "Oh shoot! I shouldn't take these now, they'll keep me up all night!" 

It's not meant to be a prison of anxiety of healthy living. Healthy living should be liberating, not the opposite wherein we become so fixated on what goes into our body. I tend to lean towards stressing more about my physical health than I do about my spiritual well being, unfortunately. You see? This is only one example of the things around us, in our homes that we imprison ourselves with. Let me list a few things that imprison me. 

• Family "heirlooms".
• Unfinished craft projects, albums.
• Potential craft projects. (Good ones!)
• Books.
• Potential school books. (Where do I find the time, to teach it all?!)
• Games, puzzles etc. (The fun family fun nights, coming up?!)
• China. (Other kitchen stuff that I can't seem to choose what to part with)
• Baby related blankets, linen. 
• Stuffies. (Every stuffy has a story, to each child, how can I get rid of?)
• Furniture. (What if we need these pieces later?)

My list goes on and on and on.

The truth is, I will never have enough time to enjoy them all as frequently as they should be, in my mind. Are they worth the space? Are they worth the visual noise, the guilt ("I still haven't played that game with my kids", "One day, bla bla bla with these"), the reminder that you are incapable of delivering? Incapable of making things happen, incapable of following through with regimes, unwritten rules, potential hobbies and then the images you've created in your mind with all of the stuff that's in your home. No, this has to stop. We can do ANYTHING, but not EVERYTHING. Now is the time to figure out what that "anything" is, and what the rest are that can be let go of. Are you following what I'm trying to put into words?

Study a Language

I had the privilege of being born into a bilingual family. English and Finnish. Finnish being one of the hardest languages in the world (to me it's still a challenge, though I was born and raised in Finland)!

I have always been fascinated with languages, not those taught at school, but the ones that were far from me, such as Urdu, Swahili, Mandarin Chinese, and Korean. When I was in my pre-teens, I used to listen to Hong Kongese pop music, not kidding! I would memorize the songs but had no idea what they were singing. In my teens, the same with Urdu and one Hindi song. Then I moved onto Swahili, which I again picked up after my first child was born. I got far with my studies, even got to visit Tanzania, but after moving to Canada I have forgotten most of it:(! I just don't have enough east African buddies here like I did back in Finland to practice with. You know who you are, I miss you guys so much!!!!!

So, where we live at the moment is pretty much smack down in Korea and China town. What a great opportunity to study and practice these languages. I decided to go with Mandarin, because it's the most spoken language in the world, it is a mystery to me, it has characters that are thousands of years old, it has only 4 tones (compared to Cantonese!!), and I have always been a big fan of Chinese movies, food and culture.

I did a few library courses, read a few Chinese For Dummies Books and got a bit stuck. I didn't want to stop there, and since I had embarked on such a challenge, I was blessed enough to find a private tutor! I am very very blessed! Living on a single income, with a growing family, there isn't much disposable income whatsoever. This lovely lady was wonderful enough to meet where I could afford her lessons, though she is worth much much more! God is good!

I want to encourage you to pick up a language. I believe that by learning one language, it makes it easier to learn more languages in the future and opens up perspective. Time flies anyway, so in one year, even though you only took 30 minutes a week to learn a language slowly, you would have at least been studying for 26 hours in that year, which is 26h better at a language you would have not known anything about. Invest in learning a language.

More ideas on Managing Time HERE

What languages do you know fluent or semi fluent? Which languages would you like to learn and why?

Why I'm Scrapping Scrapbooking

I am quitting scrapbooking for good. 

 

Why? Well here are a few reasons why I have FINALLY decided to scrap it.

• Can't keep up with filing life
• Carrying too much guilt
• Not finding the time to scrapbook
• It won't last
• Going back to basics

I just don't have the time or the desire anymore to record every single thing in my or my kids' lives. It take a lot of time and in some ways, like FB, it is "unnatural" to do so. In my opinion.

I carry a lot of guilt from not completing the 1st years, nevermind the pregnancy albums, of my first two kids and now we have 3 kids and I am like 7 years behind in scrapbooking our life. I free myself from the dissolution of needing to scrapbook our life. I'm free.

I don't have the time to scrapbook. I homeschool, I'm a full time stay at home (super busy!!!) mom. I don't have the time to take my stuff out, lay them out and give my time to it. I just don't.

This too, is a trend. This too, will pass.

What happened to the good old photo albums? Or simple black albums using adhesive photo corner stickers? Why does each picture deserve a decorative page? I'm going back to old school. I still enjoy looking at pictures without the "parade".

I am FREE of guilt that unfortunately ScrapBooking has given me. Now, to all my scrapbooking friends, you know who you are! I still love you dearly and enjoyed every second of scrapbooking with you. If it's a way of meditation and a fun hobby for you, don't quit. This is personal.