The Struggle Is Real (Part 2)

In my previous post HERE, I went over some issues that are bothering me in my home, that I believe are hindering us as a family to live a "happy" home life. On this post, I am going to point out a few factors that I think may be the "culprits", the hindering factors.

• We get upset with our kids when they create a tornado in every room they pass through. "Pick that up, see you left this, that...do you have to touch everything?!" In some ways, I believe that we as parents are to blame. First of all, if we didn't have "all of that stuff" in the home in the first place, then our curious little children would not be leaving a trail of stuff while they lived in our home. If we had less stuff, working on chores and keeping up with bits wouldn't be so overwhelming to them, and we would yell less. Did that make any sense at all?? We are the ones who bring endless stuff -games, toys and books, crafts, clothes, and bits and bobs into our homes, the kids don't. We do. We allow the kids to. Who's in charge? It's only the natural curious nature of our kids who explore everything and anything around them. What is our home supposed to be like for us, and for them? Secondly, accumulation of things and stuff isn't coded in us, it's learnt. Tell me if I'm wrong (I know, genetics...)? Does accumulation happen through social pressure, in the society we live in? "Everything must be tried, and experienced!", "Taste THIS, craft THAT, sleep on THIS!" We must do EVERYTHING. We become secret hoarders. Always wanting more, because it is an endless sea of possibilities and upgrades. One thing I read somewhere that hit home was this, "You can do ANYTHING, but not EVERYTHING" If only, we could apply it to everything in our lives. We cannot keep up. 
• (This may be a small factor of stuff in your home, but it's still a factor) I have a cupboard full of supplements. What could be wrong with that? It's healthy! Oh yes, yes they are, BUT! Firstly, what if we spent that $$$ on organic nutrient dense foods instead, -or at least half of it? It's starting to make sense to me. I have bottles upon bottles of pills, that are very much good for me, yet I would sometimes second guess on purchasing organic eggs, vegetables, and beef! Yet I would still spend $$ on vitamins. We wouldn't need supplementation if I was focusing on nutrient dense foods.  Secondly, I carry stress over remembering to eat my pills, so I can be healthy, I'll be doomed if I don't. Right? "So many pills to swallow, at these times of the day, with these meals. After my workout" "Oh shoot! I shouldn't take these now, they'll keep me up all night!" 

It's not meant to be a prison of anxiety of healthy living. Healthy living should be liberating, not the opposite wherein we become so fixated on what goes into our body. I tend to lean towards stressing more about my physical health than I do about my spiritual well being, unfortunately. You see? This is only one example of the things around us, in our homes that we imprison ourselves with. Let me list a few things that imprison me. 

• Family "heirlooms".
• Unfinished craft projects, albums.
• Potential craft projects. (Good ones!)
• Books.
• Potential school books. (Where do I find the time, to teach it all?!)
• Games, puzzles etc. (The fun family fun nights, coming up?!)
• China. (Other kitchen stuff that I can't seem to choose what to part with)
• Baby related blankets, linen. 
• Stuffies. (Every stuffy has a story, to each child, how can I get rid of?)
• Furniture. (What if we need these pieces later?)

My list goes on and on and on.

The truth is, I will never have enough time to enjoy them all as frequently as they should be, in my mind. Are they worth the space? Are they worth the visual noise, the guilt ("I still haven't played that game with my kids", "One day, bla bla bla with these"), the reminder that you are incapable of delivering? Incapable of making things happen, incapable of following through with regimes, unwritten rules, potential hobbies and then the images you've created in your mind with all of the stuff that's in your home. No, this has to stop. We can do ANYTHING, but not EVERYTHING. Now is the time to figure out what that "anything" is, and what the rest are that can be let go of. Are you following what I'm trying to put into words?

The Struggle Is Real -2016

I know that women in developing countries have serious struggles of their own, but can you imagine what our struggles might look like in their eyes?

• Having to endlessly pick up after our kids around the house, I can't take it!
• You can't find your shoes, where are your socks??!
• I'm having to trip over stuff to get to where I am going!
• The sink is overflowing of dishes, again.
• This (food) is out of date, ugh!  my life is so hard!
• The laundry just keeps on piling, I can't keep up with it..:(
• Who left all of the books strewn all over the floor, -pick them up!!?
• It's been nonstop all day for me, I just need to take a bath.

I could go on and on with our "struggles" but the more I think about it, the more ashamed I am. Oh the guilt! So, I'm turning my shame into motivation to seriously purge my home.

I feel like I'm always purging my home. Is it just me or does anyone else seem to be donating boxes or bags of stuff after a huge purging episode?? I swear, the enemy knows my weaknesses. After 8 bags of purging, feeling that much lighter and free, someone brings me boxes of hand me downs of stuff. The hoarder within me, says "yeah, sure I'll have a look!" and guess what, EVERYTHING has potential. I should learn. If I can't see it, I won't miss it and even if I see it, I probably will not miss it. A fact.

How then do I de-itemize my home for good and is "for good" even a realistic expectation? Looking up at those struggles listed, could I swap those struggles for things that matter eternally? Let me break them down for us.

1. Having to endlessly pick up after our kids around the house, I can't take it! Our homes in westernized countries are so full of stufffffff. We think we need it, we hoard it, we save it, stack it, storage it and we keep accumulating more stuff. I cannot even wrap my head around the sum of $$ we would save, if we were not so easily swept away with things. The things we buy, we end up purging anyway sooner or later. The things we own, end up binding us, they end up owning us in one way or another. We lose precious time for instance, we become around the clock cleaners, maintainers, and hunters (hunts for the missing {insert here}!).. It robs us from time for ourselves, as mothers. Our kids go to bed and you have so much to prep for in order to survive the next day, and then you're done for the day. Would you not want to curl up and read your favourite book? Read those blog posts that you bookmarked for a quiet moment? Could this be your quiet moment, where you work on a project you've been thinking about for months? Does motherhood and you time have to be a balancing act? Can it not just be the journey you are on and there is no seperation of the two? How would it be, if instead of STRIVING, we could be THRIVING in the coming days? Would the shouts and arguments over toys scattered around the home be swapped into talks and cuddles and outdoor walks? What steps must we take, in today's society and the areas we live in to make this a reality? 
2. You can't find your shoes, where are your socks!? How many pairs of shoes does one child, never mind woman have? YES, there can be too many shoes. This is a nuisance in my home. My kids never seem to find their shoes, always one shoe missing. I see them trying to leave the house with sandals in the middle of winter, and it drives me bonkers! "Where are your shoes?!" How many pairs do kids need, as they are growing up fast anyway, and don't get a chance to enjoy them long enough? A few "shoe cultures" I admire are the Finnish and Koreans. Finns never walk inside the home with their shoes on and leave them beside the front door. Koreans always seem to take their shoes off in the most respectful way possible. Say what? Yes, have you ever seen anyone place their shoes away in such a symmetrical manner, I have! Koreans :) If I had the shoes I need, (which I actually have fewer than I "need"), my kids would live by example. If they had just the right amount of shoes for designated weather, they would be lost or mistreated, especially when you have multiple kids! I can't help but think of Little House On The Prairie, when the girls would cherish everything they had as it was gold. Their corn husk dolls, special laced up shoes.. polished, ready for school. Could we adapt that mentality? How can we, when we live in this society. how can we fight the strong winds of today's capitalism and pass that onto our children? I'm talking about shoes, but this goes for every piece of clothing.
3. I'm having to trip over stuff to get to where I am going! What would your life look like if you were not swayed by Walmart or Pinterest? Would you walk into a temple instead of a westernized, asthma risk house? Would our homes be a place of rest and worship? Would you be aware of your surroundings, instead of being drowned in visual noise? Picture this for a moment...What would your home look like? I have purged so much, yet I still have too much stuff I have a hard time parting with. I guess I don't have the answer for that, yet. Yet.
4. The sink is overflowing of dishes, again. Well, how many dishes do we need? Most of us have a dishwasher, how crazy is that. We tend to talk about how back in the day, they had house servants, and how we have to do everything by ourselves. Well, we have house servants too! We got a dishwasher, laundry machines, most of us have a coffee maker, fridge, the endless kitchen appliances - list yours! We even have a vacuum cleaner! How cool is that! A machine that sucks up dust and bits and good Lord, is that not a praise worthy privilege? Not to forget, the toilet! We have running water, electricity.. it's just mind blowing when I think of the stuff we have, yet we moan about our "load". Can you picture that the developing world mothers face, when she sees your list of "servants"? Embarrassing! Turning my shame into motivation-turning my shame into inspiration! What can we do, to own less dishes. Every dish has a story, a potential- how can we minimize our cupboards? Keep on purging, I know I'll get there! And, so will you!
5. This (food) is out of date, ugh!  my life is so hard! I read this thing on the "time-wasting-book" page once, "When I buy a lettuce, I usually bin it right away. Saves me doing it in a weeks time".. I chuckled, but it's so true! Not only do we have this gadget in the kitchen that keeps our food fresh, we forget about our food. We take the food for granted in some way or form. Take the time to look at this video below. I'm on a mission. I would like to go back to basics with 'food'. Simplify the ingredients and the source of food, so that it gets the respect it deserves. Genesis 1:29 and 2:9 and much much more... Read the THM Plan book!! HERE is my aff'link, check it out! (For those who do not know, this is the reason for my cleared up complexion! read about it HERE) 
6. The laundry just keeps on piling, I can't keep up with it..:( So my girlfriend and I were daydreaming about what our laundry piles would look like if all of our kids and us, had 2-4 sets of clothes. The loads would be smaller, and it would be a small load to carry (ha ha pun intended!). The kids wouldn't get bored, they're growing kids! The turn over would still happen, correct? And, we would always have something to wear! No longer would we have mismatch items, speaking gibberish to us. It would all make sense.
7. Who left all of the books strewn all over the floor, -pick them up!!? Sometimes I catch my kids using the books in their plays, as chairs or whatever. They're on the floor instead of where they belong. I hate the fact that the baby gets a book and manages to rip out a page or two. A lot of book mending going on in my home, it sorrows me. I love books. Books used to be irreplaceable. Now we get most of our information online. I would like to keep this art very much alive in my home. The smell of pages when you open the book, I love it! How can we, in today's tech savvy world, pass on these things to our kids? Put them behind locked doors, watch over them as they read -not in my house hold. Is this just a lazy-mother syndrome, or do you see where I am going with this? I cannot stand over them and watch them put away each book. Is there another way to pass on the value of books on to my kids?
8. It's been nonstop all day for me, I just need to take a bath.  What if we didn't have all the stuffff to do everyday that having a moment to yourself that gets interrupted, wasn't such a big deal after all? Get what I am saying?

Thoughts??? Please do share!