My Future Trim Healthy Mama Pregnancy And More (For a HG Mom)

This morning I woke up with my first menses since about 28-29 months ago. That's being pregnant and nursing our last child. A month ago or so I stopped night time nursing. I needed my sleep back desperately, and I knew once I stopped it would be only a matter of weeks until I started ovulating again. So here I am!

Fertile. Fertile.

What does this mean to an "HG mom"? (Hyperemesis Gravidarum to those who do not know is Extreme pregnancy sickness) It means that it's time to stop slacking in numerous ways and start putting my armor and arsenal on. It all comes down to health, basically. Nutritious foods, good habits, sleep in the bank, etc.

What are some changes that I need to start like, YESTERDAY? Let me map it out for you, but also I'm mapping this our for myself as a reminder.

Diet

Don't do's

• No sugar. I have to be aware of and avoid hidden sugars. 
• No unsprouted wheat, and very little sprouted ones.
• No white rice or white potatoes.
• No caffeine, coffee, and consume very little home made Skinny Chocolate. I just packed away my "Keurig"... sigh*
• No heated oils. Using the good oils as salad dressings etc.
• No processed foods. No junk!

Do do's (ha ha!)

• Increase fermented foods, sauerkraut, pickles, ACV, probiotics, kefir, kombucha tea, etc
• Increase vegetables, especially leafy greens. Last pregnancy I was able to juice vegetables more than I could eat them, and it helped me a lot. 
• Keep hydrated. I know I love me GGMS', but I need to start loving plain old water as well. I've heard that natural spring water makes a bigger difference than filtered water. I gotta check this claim out.
• Eat according to the Trim Healthy Mama plan. You can find more about it HERE
• Supplementation. I am seeing a Naturapathic Dr, getting tested for everything to see where my body is at, and we will be supplementing on what needs addressing. Exciting times, indeed! I've never been so thoroughly checked!
• We will be investing in organic and ethical foods, when possible. $$$!! I know.

Surroundings

• We need to empty our home from like...everything, basically! This is the time to either give away or box-up most of it. Let's put on our "stage the house" mode, and pretend we need to depersonalize the home for selling. There will be no time to do this while (Lord willing I am not!) under the nausea of HG. 
• Simplify homeschool to nearly a complete self-led study. We will be signing the kids up for mathseeds.com and ixl.com, raz-kids.com, brainpop and brainpopjr.com. Hubby will be prepared to take over some of the schooling, especially in the beginning.
• Now or never is the time to focus on "attitude" with the children. They do their chores, but when I am out of action- they need to do these without being asked. Rewards system, ready-set-go! A wall chart will help them keep their progress and goals visual.
• Getting a pair of "walkie-talkies", check! The best purchase EVER. No more struggled whimper yells. "Purple leader calling for red-leader. Over."
• Cooking 20-30 freezer meals for my family. Stocking up the freezer and pantry with portioned healthy snacks and ready P&J, and cheese&deli sandwiches. I need to get my thinking cap on...menu planning, here I come!
• Letting go of commitments. All the "extras" that my family and I can live without.
• For me, a mini fridge next to my bed is a must. 
• Create  "A Family Binder". Gather all the information of everything you or your family -or babysitter, aunt, friend, should have and put it in a binder. Make it accessible, pretty and simple. Telephone numbers, links, chores and menu list, manuals, recipes, instructions etc. Whatever you feel is important for the possible times that you are out of action.
• Stocking up on good quality protein powder and collagen. 

Habits etc

• Start taking daily epsom salt baths.
• Praying as a couple for my womb and for my pregnancy.
• Meditate on scripture and prayer.
• Going to bed on time. If I get into bed by 9 p.m, it gives my thoughts and body time to settle into sleep mode. I can spend my time in bed reading or making love to my husband. Both which affect sleep in a positive way. 
• Habits include diet.
• Taking care of my appearance and more. A healthy well-kept body is a "strength" to any level of nausea. It made a big difference in my last pregnancy. So what does this mean exactly? For me, it is about getting groomed (waxed, haircut, eyebrows plucked, pedicure etc), visiting a pelvic floor physio -getting my core and pelvic floor into where it should be, working on my cardio and muscle strength at home or at the gym, and over all complexion.  
• I will be budgeting for a cleaner weekly, if possible. 
• Same goes for a regular babysitter. Some may think of this as a waste of money, but this is paying for services that I need and will make our lives that little bit manageable/easier. We don't need to go out of the house for a "date" when we hire a babysitter. Doing simply nothing, is bliss. 
• Going over remedies that worked for me in my previous pregnancies and accumulating doTERRA essential oils that will be on my "go to" cupboard. More information on doTERRA HERE
• This one is pricey- but if possible, I will be going to regular high dose vitamin and mineral IV treatments given by my Naturapathic Dr. I can only see this being a positive impact on my future (lord willing) pregnancy. More information HERE

My dear "blogger friend" is pretty much going through what I am as we speak, preparing for a possible future HG pregnancy. She has a wealth of knowledge when it comes down to this all, and it was through her blog that I got most of my knowledge and support through my horrifically sick pregnancies. You can find her blog HERE

So what else can I share? I have my last pregnancy's blog still up there and running. I will most likely continue writing in it, when and if we're blessed with another "peanut". I'm quite excited to find out! You can have a look and read all about how I coped with our previous pregnancy HERE. 

Preparing For Future Pregnancies As A HG Mom

(This post is from a larger family and a homeschooling view)

As some of you know, I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) with 3/4 of my pregnancies. After each pregnancy, I'm always so determined to see how changing the way I lived would save me from another HG pregnancy. The thing is, no one knows what that changeable thing could be?! So, it's a real guessing game with a lot of homework, hit and miss kind of thing.

I cannot even begin to explain what HG is like for those who have not experienced it (but that it is severe-severe-severe x a million kind of pregnancy sickness), but if you have been the few lucky women to suffer from it, YOU KNOW!

I have a blogger friend who has dedicated her blog to helping HG women in need, creating awareness, finding more information on how to prevent HG or to just bear it minute by minute etc. She has done an amazing job and put a lot of hours into it, it seems! You can find her blog HERE

My husband and I have trusted God with our fertility, (hoping!!!!very baby-feverish!!!) so it's our job to try as hard as we can to dodge another HG pregnancy. HG pregnancy is debilitating, and with children to take care of (we home school thankfully! no driving to schools and back), with HG you are out of service. You need help. Lots of it too!

Thankfully after submitting our fertility completely to Him, read about it HERE and HERE, our 4th pregnancy was "just" a severe morning sickness kind of pregnancy. Hey! I take that as a HUGE mile stone! Beats having to be hospitalized with I.Vs stuck in you. I learned so much during this pregnancy, I think I spent a lot of time reading, mostly Whining Puker - Trust and Obey among other blogs and sites.

God has shown me so much. I was more prepared last time around. I prepared my body before conceiving and we spent time making my home more manageable for the coming days when I had my lows. I ordered my 100 remedies for pregnancy sickness book from HERE and ordered a bunch of "just in cases" and "to try outs" from Amazon. I blogged about this preparation journey HERE, and I blogged about my pregnancy HERE.

So, to make a long story short...er... Here is my advice on how to prepare your body for pregnancy, and how to make your home manageable and SAFE for when you are (hopefully aren't!) out of service.

Before Pregnancy (your body):

1. Give up black tea or any other caffeinated drinks. Give up coffee. I know this one hit home pretty darn hard for me. I love coffee. I love Dark Roast coffee..I love Italian dark roast coffee.. I'm a coffee snob. Ouch! I believe that any food types that are addicting and cause "withdrawal symptoms" when not taken habitually should be avoided. Anyone with the risk of HG or severe nausea shouldn't have to go through any excess stress factors during their pregnancy. Also, it's not a bad idea to detox the body a bit for seasons of time.
2. Increase you protein intake. Eat according to Trim Healthy Mama, but mostly S meals, S helper meals and FP meals. Keep E's to a minimum. Increase healthy fats and macro/micro nutrients. Go as organic as much as your budget allows (eliminating any bad quality foods). Go MSG, GMO and nitrate FREE! Basically, eat as many superfoods as you can and this way you give little room for the non-healthy foods and naturally eat CLEAN. Go wheat (unless it's sprouted organic whole wheat) free. Go sugar free. The Trim Healthy Mama plan has plenty of desserts to offer in their new cookbook, you won't be lacking one bit! 
3. Exercise regularly. I prefer to really focus on MUTUSYSTEM, C210K app (couch to 5/10km), and weights. Keep your core strong, heal and/or minimise the chances of diastasis recti. Keep your heart healthy, increase your stamina and strength. No brainer!
4. Take your omegas and as many vitamins as possible, especially magnesium! I like to take all my B vitamins, milk thistle, magnesium, probiotics, folate, omegas etc.
5. Take multi billion probiotics, drink apple cider vinegar, eat sauerkraut, homemade kimchi and drink kombucha teas. Make this a daily habit. Making sure you have a good gut flora is essential. It affects your whole body.
6. Have regular Epsom Salt baths. This is a good way of getting that magnesium intake and relaxes your muscles. 
7. Give up any form of alcohol. Wine lovers... I know.
8. Indulge in green juices/smoothies/Earth's milks daily.
9. Drink a lot of water. Make it a habit.
10. Purchase Casein protein powder (preferably natural) for "night time shakes". More on that a bit further on.
11. Order the ebook 100 remedies on MyMorningSickness HERE. It is a well put together book with a wide scope of tried and tested remedies and is such an encouragement for those who feel like they want to give up. I can't hype about it enough. Stock up on as many remedies as possible, so when you're feeling like poop, you have them on hand and do not have to wait for weeks to have something bought or shipped to you. 
12. Start religiously taking collagen. " It is simply gelatin broken down into smaller amino acid chains called peptides, accomplished by a nature enzyme found in pineapples. These peptides can be quickly absorbed into the bloodstream and efficiently utilized by the body for improved hair, skin, bone, and joint nourishment and support. As the primary structural protein in the body’s connective tissues, collagen plays a vital role in the maintenance of the cartilage, tendons and ligaments that keep joints functioning properly. Protein based foods also take longer than carbohydrates to break down in the body, providing you with a longer-lasting energy source." -THM Order yours HERE!
13. Sleep! Don't fool  yourself with little sleep, it will eventually bite you in the behindy big time! Make sure you get a solid 8-10 hours each night. Sacrifice your favourite TV show if you have to. It is vital to get proper rest, as vital as it is for you to eat, breathe etc.
14. Pray! Pray over your body, ask your husband to pray over your body, as your support circle to keep you in their prayers. Thank God for his wonders. Pray ever so ...
15. Memorize scripture. Especially scripture that you can declare during tough times.
16. See an osteopath, to have your muscles manipulated into correct positioning. Get your body sorted, movement, good flow of blood and no muscle tensions, stress etc.

Before pregnancy (in your home etc.):

1. Share your news and plans with your family and friends and ask for help. Create yourself a support circle and make a list of things you might need help with during those awful low moments (we pray you wont have any!).
2. Take a look of this Meal Train site. You won't have to do this alone, but if you do...
3. ... then start prepping, cooking and freezing some meals! Recruit your friends. Ask them to bring their own cutting boards and sharp knives and chop away pounds and pounds of "seasoning mixes" (more on that later). Cook in batches, and bag up! I'm guessing if you have a big chest freezer, 50+ meals is ideal. Who knows how long you have to be out of kitchen duty?
4. Stock your pantry with healthy, on the go types on snacks for your family. Stock up on cereal, dried fruit, nut bars, healthy protein bars, nuts and seeds etc. You can pre-bag them beforehand so no child ends up being "over generous" to themselves, lol! Oh and, there is never too many prepared bags, they wont go to waste! It's better to have too many than too little!
5. Invest in some "Walkie-Talkies". This will be a life saver, trust me! Give one to the oldest or most responsible person in your home and keep the communication lines open. It's hard to yell over chaos sometimes, especially when whispering feels troublesome. 
6. Explain to your kids how your pregnancies are, and pray with them for a healthy pregnancy. Share with them your worries, but that you trust God and ask them to be extra helpful around the house and with little ones. 
7. De-itemize your home. I have written about de-itemizing before HERE and how essential it is to live simply and with minimalism. So when you are mapping out what you can achieve housework wise in your home while nauseated, the less you have, the better! No picking up, no chaos, no dusting, no tripping over stuff... just clean floors and decluttered plain surfaces. This way, you can be assured that your home wont end up in disaster, and disorderly (which affects the mind negatively, hey ladies!?) and you can easily assign your kids to keep the home tidy. Basically, pack away your belongings as if you were selling your house and it was on show. Trust me, you wont miss the stuff! Have your kids pack a backpack of their favourite toys and box up the rest. Be a minimalist.
8. Purchase paper plates. Buy a lot of paper plates. Who wants to do dishes?! It might feel like a waste, but recycle them. Don't buy the foamy plates, they're toxic and environmentally unfriendly.
9. Lesson plan with your husband for homeschooling. Have your kids working on mostly self lead work, and mostly on the computer. There are several homeschooling sites out there, ixl, Mathseeds, Brainpop, Raz Kids, etc. Life Pac series have great Socials and Science kits and Costco sells the Canadian Curriculum books that cover all subjects. Have your husband be more involved with homeschool during the weekends (or when he doesn't work). You know, school doesn't have to involve books or the computer. Basic life skills are always a necessity and he can teach that to your kids, just by living and leading by example. Also, be gracious to yourself. This season will not last forever, so lesson plan with grace. Make it simple. Make it manageable.
10. If possible, purchase a used mini fridge and put it next to your bed!!! Need I say more? 
11. Menu plan. Menu plan in 1-2 week cycles and create a master shopping list. Write down meals that hardly require any effort in the kitchen or can be safely handled by your children. 
12. Purchase a crushed ice maker and stock up on ice. Heavenly ice...
13. Write up a home planner with telephone numbers, guidelines for babysitters, petsitters, etc. Sometimes even talking can be overwhelming and you can communicate simply with a well labelled binder . If you need specific help around the house, your helper can simply let you rest and go to page "laundry" in your binder, if needed. Write down meal times, allergies, or any specific instructions that might come in handy for those who offer their help but don't quite yet know you on a personal level.

During pregnancy: 

1. Do try your best to eat every 2-3h
2. Have your husband make you a casein protein shake in the middle of the night, preferably early morning between 4-6 a.m. Casein protein is the slowest digested protein there is and will keep your blood sugar leveled longer. Hopefully dodging those rough mornings. You can drink Casein protein during the day too, if you can stomach it. I find that usually half a sleep is when I stomach anything the best.
3. Start your morning with 1T of Bentonite clay, followed by a protein and nutrient filled breakfast. Green juice, egg white omelet on tortilla. With HG, the sound of this may want to make you hurl, but even a teaspoon full is good progress.
4. Roll out of bed into an Epsom salt bath. This works wonders. I was a very faithful epsom salt bather for the first 25 weeks of my last pregnancy.
5. Put ACV in your drinking water. Start with small amounts and increase little by little.
6. Keep your feet anchored at all times. Keeps you feeling less dizzy.
7. Drink plenty of water.
8. Take your vitamins. Some vitamins can make you nauseous, so time your vitamins wisely. I had to take my iron later at night, so I was asleep for most of the "icky feeling".
9. Make yourself a topical magnesium spray. Helps with waves of nausea. I sprayed my chest and neck when I felt green. 
10. Use "sea bands". I don't know if they worked, but I have used them with all of my 4 pregnancies. 
11. Stay cool. A/C, open windows, cool baths... Cool air, and ice always help!
12. Pray, pray, pray! Focus on the GOOD as hard as it sounds. I know, how hard it can be to feel miserable and wondering why this is happening to you. But do know, you are NOT alone! We're right here with you feeling the same, crying, feeling desperate at times. You are doing well, take one minute at a time.
13. Read the MyMorningSickness book over and over and over again.
14. Recite scripture you have memorized. Read scripture out loud and declare it over your body and household.
15. Hire a babysitter as much as you can. You don't have to leave the house, but cuddling in your husbands arms without distractions is a welcomed break! This way your husband can work on things around the home too, that have piled up... like laundry! LOL
16. Blog about your pregnancy. Update weekly. Try out every remedy that you can possibly try, and keep a tab. Write about your experiences. Find a forum and an online network, support that can help you during these rough moments. 
17. Enjoy (I know, I just said that!) this time where you can "rest" on the couch, and have people help you (or take the time to do the minimum), browse online through encouraging and beneficial sites and blogs, watching your favourite TV shows and movies online... enjoy what ever you can squeeze out of this hard time. Praise God that He is growing a miraculous child in you, and that He is right there with you. 

Let me know what you do to get prepared for your pregnancies and what you do during pregnancy to keep sane! :)

More on Pregnancy and Birth Posts HERE

Crying Out to God

One Sunday, a few months ago I had been convicted through a seminar that I was going through at the time. I told my husband to take the kids and leave me to meet my Creator in peace. He was kind enough to not question anything and take the kids swimming. Soon after they left, I fell on the bed, on my face and cried out to God. Literally, cried out, yelled out, sobbed and poured out my heart to my heavenly Father. All of my doubts and fears was layed out, infront of Him, as I clenched onto the covers and whimpered everything to Him.

"God you know my fears, my struggles, my pain... I choose to follow You, live out my convictions, have mercy on me!"

One thing in particular was on the top of my list,

pregnancy. 

Such a difficult and nauseous time for me. Nothing sweet about my pregnancies, just torture. 

"Oh God, if we are to leave the number of the children we have, up to you, would you please take the burden of my pregnancies??"

Well here I am TODAY, 7 weeks pregnant. We're expecting again. Our #4 :)

Do I feel nauseous? -YES! But nothing, nothing and once again nothing, compares to what I had to endure 3 pregnancies before. I have been lifted up, my cry has been heard and I am "standing" by His strength only.

I'm going to blog about this pregnancy. How I am coping, what I am learning, eating and doing. Stay tuned! 

 

More on our convictions, why we choose to have a "large" family HERE

More on severe pregnancy sickness- HyperEmesis Gravidadum HERE

 

Preparing For Possible Hyperemesis Gravidarum

Okay, some of you know that through all of my 3 pregnancies, I suffered from Hyperemesis Gravidadum, a.k.a "sick all of the time, vomiting all of the time". My "easiest" pregnancy was with my second child, which was very, very hard, but not so severe, did not need to go to the hospital for IV's and such.

My first was bad, hospitalized and to top it off, severe cystic acne (another story for later). But I must say, freshest in the memory is my third, it was the toughest. No preparation, no planning, no support group, it all makes a difference.We had just moved continents and even though she was planned, my husband landed a job sooner than expected (not complaining!!) and I found myself isolated with two kids under 5, severely sick and no support. We did manage though, praise God, but it was a really hard time and it shook us both to the core.

So as my husband and I are open for more children, we want to make sure now, that we plan and prep as far ahead of time as we can, and then leave the rest up to God. I want to share with you, who suffer from moderate to severe "morning" sickness, about the ways to alleviate and make your ride more manageable. 

Here is a site with loads of info and help for those who suffer badly. My Morning Sickness

I bought the E-book, printed it out, put it in a binder and have been mentally preparing myself for what is (or may not, -still living in hope!) to come. Only recently have I began to make a list of what needs to be done as soon as possible. You just never know. This is how I prepare for my pregnancies.

Before the positive pregnancy test:

• Start eating healthy, and drinking plenty of water
• Eat multivitamins and all the essential supplements for a good start
• Exercise regularly
• Make meals before hand and freeze them (20-30 meals pref)
• Search for a second hand mini fridge - The times I feel so ill, that I cannot even sit up, this will come in handy. I can have all the ice and snacks right next to our bed.
• Stock up on remedies, Nux Vomica (homeopathic), Milk Thistle, Sea(relief)Bands, Lemongrass Oil, Preggie Pops, Ice, Ice, and crushed Ice!
• we don't just de-clutter but de-itemize our home
• we home school, so I have to make easy to follow lesson plans

After the confirmation:

• Pray, pray, pray! Keep your focus on Him!
• Find a pregnancy support group online, and from church
• Hubby will build a foot board for bed. Keeping my feet secured and anchored, keeps me semi stable. It works! Once my feet are off the ground or surface, I began feeling really queasy. I spend a lot of time in bed, so it's important to have this foot board available.
• Make lemongrass and beeswax candles for aromatherapy
• Buy chewable vitamins
• make ice teas, and ice cubes from red raspberry leaf tea, lemon juice and nettle tea

During the (possible) rough ride:

• hire a doula for extra support. It can be a very depressing and a discouraging beginning but having a doula makes all the difference, if you live in the Vancouver area,  I recommend Mother Nurture Doula Services
• let your church women's ministry know and ask/accept the help.
• Hire a babysitter for a few hours so you can rest, or you and your husband can just chill without leaving your home. This is money well spent.
• Take this as a guilt free "quiet season". Don't feel bad if you cannot keep up with the things you used to do. 
• Read Christ Centered Childbirth as many times as you can. I love this book! As bad as my pregnancies were, my births were bliss!! This book helped me to surrender my mind, heart and body and focus the right way and I, believe it or not, gave birth with ease. I really recommend this book!

Answer me this, and by doing so you have a chance to win the Christ Centered Childbirth OR My Morning Sickness Handbook! Q. what methods do you use to get through your pregnancy sickness? Comment with your answer and your preferred book. Your chance to win ends January 15th, 2014. Winner will be informed privately.

I hope this encourages you.

Full Quiver - Large Family

This post is about marital intimacy. I recommend that you do not read it, if you are not engaged to be married soon or married.

People around us often ask whether we are "done" with having kids. They ask this especially after they find out that we are parents of 3. To some folks, 3 is a lot, to others, it's not. We are living amongst the "a lot" kind of people... I'm generalising here, bare with me.

I could copy and paste great articles from "large family" blogs and explain why we are open for more kids but that would be copy and pasting, and not in my very OWN words. And there is MORE to it.

So here is our story, how we eventually ended up "wanting" more children after thinking 2-3 was a good number.

Before I begin with our brief summarised story about us, finding freedom after years of bondage in this area, here are some good questions and interesting comments we've got from family, friends and strangers. Please keep in mind, I am sharing our perspective, values and beliefs and I am not trying to impose this on other people. I hope you find encouragement and peace by reading our story. Comments are welcome.

1. Having kids is expensive! There is "research" and even books (holy moly) on how having children is expensive. I disagree, entirely. We believe that God has a set "bank account" for each child you have. This doesn't necessarily mean GAP clothes and all the hobbies one child and parent desire, but this for us means (and we have also lived to see) that ALL is provided for and we truly lack nothing. The provision came AFTER having each child. Looking back we can see how our income increased after each child was born. Not before, but after. God has asked us to trust Him in this area and we have not been disappointed! There are certain "luxuries" we don't have, such as owning a car and being able to shop for new clothes each month, but these are minor, very minor to what we have been blessed with. Our children. There are endless ways to cut costs if one is worried about the financial aspect of having kids. From cloth diapers to breastfeeding well, to living on primarily hand me down clothes. It all depends on what you feel is important to have, what are your priorities and values?
2. You won't get your life back if you keep having more kids. I am assuming that we are talking about the "life before kids" part. We never thought that having kids was just a side track or a rest zone for us away from our career. Or should I say, my career. As a stay at home mum and a homeschooler, I can't see myself returning to what I did prior to my kids. I was a stay-at-home mum, had 3 jobs and even studied Nutritional Therapy all at the same time, amongst other events which I led and participated in. However, THIS is my life now, for this SEASON of my life and I am looking forward to the new things, which this phase of my life brings. I am a mother. This is far more important to me than pursuing my career. I don't want to linger in the same season and place my whole life. This is my calling and I know that the things I used to do, I can do again, when the right time comes up. And IF I want to.
3. You won't be able to travel. Our family is scattered around the world, so it's important for us to be able to travel, often enough. Like I sort of mentioned previously, God IS our provider. He has and will provide for another plane fare. God knows our situation, our desires, needs and wants. He is quite generous, His economy is something else and I am not worried. We live on one average income for a family of 5 and are currently saving up for a trip to Cambodia. I want to encourage you to pray, trust and give this area to God. You won't be dissapointed.
4. We won't be able to accommodate you all when you visit, if you keep growing. That's okay, we'll book a hotel;-)! 
5. Your kids will be deprived. 1) emotionally and then 2) materially. 1) Yes the larger the family grows the less of one on one time we'll get. I believe that planning ahead and prioritising everyday will help in this area. We value family time, togetherness. I just have to make sure that each kid gets kisses and cuddles throughout the day and acknowledge them often. I'm not perfect and I have my bad days. However, the good, the miracles, the LIFE that is created and the good days out weigh the bad, hands down. God knows how many kids we can handle, I have to put my trust in Him. The kids do not stay young forever, they grow and we grow. Our life changes a bit to accommodate the next blessing we receive. That's normal. I do certain things differently with 3 kids than I did with 2, and that's okay. I still have to cook every day, so the fact is, whether it's a 1 litre pan I use or a 5 litre pan, it doesn't make a difference to me. 2) This is a matter of what each of us finds important and believes is important for our kids. It's not important for us that our kids get driven to one hobby after the other, and that they get the next trendy toy or snickers on the market. We value quality time and feeding their imagination, which can be playing sports together with friends and making kites out of plastic bags. Our two oldest do have hobbies, but to be honest, I might have to find hobbies in which all of our kids can attend at the same time, when and if we are blessed with more. And if it is suitable for us. I'm not worried and neither are they. What brings more to ones life, is it a soccer practise each week during childhood or is it a brother or sister for life? I believe that they'll be blessed in which ever direction they are called to go and if my eldest wants to be a professional Cricket player, so be it.
6. The world is over populated as it is. This is a myth, yes you read this correctly. A myth. ..."In fact, the entire population of the world could live in the state of Texas, in single-family dwellings with front and back yards"... Here is a great link to Family Planning 10 Great Reasons - some liberating insight! There's truth in it! 
7. You'll have 19 kids before you know it. Not everybody who is open for having as many children, get 19 kids. We know about the Duggars and the Bates with 19 kids each, but realistically how many families who are open to having more kids, have 19? Not many. I know several families who are open to let God decide their family size and they ended up having 6. Some have 5, some 10, some 12, some 16... who knows. Some have 1 and some couples find it very hard to conceive. We are all different. 
8. "I grew up in a large family and it was difficult!" Everybody has a different story, we are not all from the same mould.

Life is precious. Life is a miracle. Amazing...

Our Story

I am happy that both sets of my grandparents didn't stop having kids after 1, because if that would have been the case, I wouldn't have been here, neither my mother, or father and more amazing people, including my precious gifts -my children. Life is a gift, a precious gift. 

My husband and I decided once our first was born that 2 was a good number. I suffered from Hyper Emesis during my first pregnancy, so I was really O.K with that idea. Being pregnant was torture for me. We were on contraception and in "control". We lacked a "connection" in our love making and it wasn't until after our 3rd child was born that we realised what that lack was caused by. We discovered it in tears. More on that in a bit.

We decided that it would be a good time to start trying for our second child when our first was 2 years old. I suffered from Hyper Emesis again, but had a pretty good supportive network and managed through it, like I always do. After our second child was born, we were convicted in this area of marital intimacy, to let go of contraception (link to truth about birth-control), by my husband reading a great book on marital intimacy the way God intended it to be (Theology of the Body here by, Christopher West) and we then began with the Natural Family Planning method (NFP link here). 

Just before our second child turned 2, I went through a long burning desire to conceive. However, we chose not to pursue our 3rd pregnancy until our major move to another continent was complete. For some reason, we pretended to be able to foresee the future and what it would be like if I would've been pregnant during that move, prior and post. We assumed to know. We conceived soon after our move and we were expecting our 3rd. The pregnancy was terrible and hard to cope with. My husband having a new job and without the most compassionate boss, we really went through a rough patch. It must've been the second hardest pregnancy so far, unbelievable. During my final weeks of that pregnancy, my husband got promoted (and a new boss!) and we moved into a rental house, which took off enormous amounts of stress and worry. God provided. The birth once again, was a reminder of why we put ourselves through that "torture". The miracle child, the blessing, the gift in our arms, amazing! So worth it. I would go through that "torture" again and again, because the life that comes from it, is worth bearing. Of course, it's different to say it and to live it. It's hard, it really is. During my worst, I'm thinking I'm stupid to put myself through this again, how bonkers am I!? I am thankful for friends and remedies. 

Visit www.mymorningsickness.com for encouragement and ways to dodge morning sickness or to take the edge off. 

Right after the birth of our 3rd, my heart longed for this not to be "it". This amazing precious gem, in my arms, this sweet child of mine... I began to wonder, how many more of these little miracles could there be? When will my womb close? Will we ever regret  not having more kids...? Why is there a set time for child bearing and Who has the ultimate say? Not only that, but back to the "lack of connection" in our love making had a root, and thankfully a solution. 

Before, there was no freedom in our love making. There was some sort of barrier, there was pursuing self gratification and no openness to possibility of conception. I personally, as well as my husband, suffered from baggage from our past that we had brought into our marriage. I felt then, that marital love making was not much different from outside of marriage, but had to trust that it was "blessed", nevertheless because we were married. 

It was a really depressing time in my life and I felt very alone in my struggles, especially within the church. It seemed that since it was prayed over, and we were declared free from our past sin, we should've been able to go home and nooky-nooky with joy, as simple as that. I began to doubt my faith. We went through years of prayer, crying out to God, marriage counselling, and personal counselling to figure this thing out and get healing once and for all. How come I was ashamed, still, as a wife, blessed by God to make love to my husband? My husband is eye candy to me, don't get me wrong, I am so in love with him, I find him very attractive. But I couldn't engage with him in the bedroom. For years, I thought the problem was ME or MY history, or MY weight... but it was US. How come I wasn't healed from this, after so long? I even got comments from people close to me, on how I shouldn't dwell in the past sin, because I am new in Christ. Absolutely, but then why is there still a void? Intellectually I knew what was true, but my heart did not follow. Something was missing. 

Eventually, We decided to abstain from coming together for long periods of time, until proper healing took place. It wasn't easy, and a very difficult journey to commit to, but there was healing in that time which needed to take place before we could come together again. I longed for intimacy that was truly blessed by God. We knew that something wasn't right, if this is truly good, then how come it feels bad, and wrong? Where are we going wrong? 

Before coming to Christ, I lived a very promiscuous life. I met my husband during the final stages of my old self. But throughout our marriage, I really wanted to know what intimacy looked like, the way God designed it to be. We brought sex as we knew it from living in the world, before Christ, into our marriage, and then as new believers we realised it wasn't working. The way we unfortunately learned about sex, in the world, is NOT the way God intended it to be. Do you see the pieces coming together?

In the world, the focus is on one self. On self gratification, it's very lustful and just pursuing self pleasure. My prayer for the first 6 years of our marriage, was "God show me what love is meant to be, between him and I" It wasn't until the birth of our 3rd, when we realised that for me to be at ease and feel loved was by letting go of the "control". For us to have pure love making, meant that we needed to stop making it all about "me" or "us". Essentially, sex is very selfish. I get what I want, you get what you want and when we want it. The when I want it idea, especially comes in to play when thinking about conception. We had given up the idea of contraception which meant the chances of getting pregnant were high so therefor I felt pressured almost to be intimate when non fertile and just forget it when fertile. This made me feel even more used. There was no freedom to love each other freely. How can you, when all you are thinking about is yourself? What this often leads to is one or the other feeling like an object rather than desired or special. Where is the sacrifice, the submission, the love?

What we had realised therefor, is that to enjoy a blessed, pure and enjoyable intimacy, we needed to give up our control and really give ourselves to the other person. In the giving of ourselves to one another, we can experience the real meaning of the word 'love' in lovemaking. The other part to this is in giving up control, we are fully open to new life. Imagine making love that is free from everything.

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